Friday, November 21, 2008

Twilight: Amazing.

Last night, my friend and I got a few drinks in us, bundled up, charged to the movie theater, and saw the midnight showing of Twilight. And. It. Was. Amazing.

1. Amazingly... hilarious: All of the brooding, wide-eyed vampires; clich├ęd lines and glittering skin set us off laughing every. Time. We spent about half the movie cracked up and making comments.

2. Amazingly... hot: Robert Pattinson is gorgeous and there was no shortage of closeups. The first few shots of him were silly because he had some weird hybrid of an American/German/British accent, but 20 minutes into the movie, it started getting sexy. My friend and I were pining for him after we left the theater.

3. Amazingly... tweeny: Nearly every person in the theater was a teenage or early 20s girl. Someone started up a chant of "Edward, Edward!" when the screen darkened for the opening credits. And the girls in front of us sat in stony silence whenever my friend and I started another round of loud moans or fits of the giggles.

4. Amazingly... not a good vampire movie: It's no secret that the author of the books is a Mormon and a terrible writer. I mean seriously, "You are my own personal brand of heroin." Really? Okay. But it's also annoying how the vampires in the series can go out in the sunlight, don't sleep, don't have fangs, can survive happily on animal blood. I really like vampire movies and books (I went through an Anne Rice phase, and I spend some nights trolling for episodes of Buffy and True Blood). I hope people don't go and then take her version of vampires as canon.

5. Amazingly... awkward: When Edward and Bella are starting to hang out, they have all these awkward scenes together where they just hang out close to each other. No kissing, no touching, just staring and proximity. It was driving everyone in the theater craaazy-- no one does that! Just kiss already! At one point, the two leads were about a centimeter apart and just hanging out, and then a girl in the front row moaned, "This is SO AWKWARD!" and everyone in the front section of the seats dissolved into laughter.

6. Amazingly... well-scored: They played Muse and Radiohead, plus a few songs I'd never heard but immediately liked. A good score over a so-so movie immediately elevates it to awesome. I approve.

In summation: I went into the movie knowing I hated the books but loved Cedric Diggory; the actress playing Bella made her slightly less annoying than in the books, so that was a welcome surprise. Basically, it was a terrific idea to go three sheets to the wind and bring along popcorn. It was terrific.

ETA: really well-written review by io9. Takes the words right out of my head:

"...What this movie is all about is the strange, twisted fantasy love story that promises young girls that, yes! You too could seduce and tame a mysterious, dangerous man who loves you - and must struggle with his overwhelming animal lust for you - despite your humdrum normal life, and all without doing anything other than just being you. It's a curious mix of female empowerment - You can achieve your goals! - with just the opposite - Don't take control of the situation or want anything more than a grand romance.There's an earlier scene in the movie where Bella tells one of her friends that she is a strong, independent woman. Why is she telling her that? To make sure that she asks out a boy. Being in a relationship is its own reward in this movie, and also the bestest thing in the world ever; all of Bella's high school friends exist to either crush on Bella or crush on those crushing on Bella - They literally have no other reason to be there. Again, the reaction of the preview audience, the movie's fanbase underlines this: while Edward's awkward pronouncements of the horrors of being a vampire got laughed at, the equally-awkward pronouncements of love were greeted with screams and sighs and other noises made by mid-20th century women when Elvis swiveled his hips."

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